Being a Parent - In reference to Emily of Emerald Hill Commentary

From Marcus Lau's Blog.



After reading the book "Emily of Emerald Hill", i have understood that being a parent is one of the toughest jobs in the world. Many times, what the parents want their child to do and what the child wants to do are very different, and therefore, to please everyone in the family is very difficult.

The parent obviously wants their child to excel in whatever they do, and it is very common for them to force their child into completing what they could not accomplished. I have heard many parents forcing their children into learning Piano, or any sport like swimming. These parents probably wanted to learn a musical instrument or take part in such sports, however they never had the chance to do so in their lifetime. Therefore they feel that their children should be the ones accomplishing their dreams, however they do not understand that their child may not share the same dreams as them, and thus will not enjoy what their parents force them to do.

The parent also wants the child to be the best, especially in studies. This is most obvious in Singaporean parents. I feel that the Singaporean education system focuses too much on grades and tests. To me, an education should be more focused on preparing the student for life in the future, preparing them for the hardships in working life. That may come out in another blog post. Singaporean parents always want their child to be studying all the time, and rarely do they allow them to be independent in their studies. They will watch the child like a hawk, and how do you think the child will feel about this? Maybe this kind of approach is needed when they are young and immature, and do not understand what their priorities are. But is it really needed when a child is already 20+?

With reference to Richard, i believe that he was mature enough to make his own decisions. However, a young man like him should probably have spoken up a little bit more about his feelings about Emily's plans for his future. He always kept mum about his feelings, like when he did not want to go into Mr Chan's law firm, but he never did say anything about it until he wrote the letter.

Emily was a very insensitive parent, she did not think about Richard's feelings at all. She always thought that her plan was the best. As a parent i feel it is very important that they put themselves in the shoes of the child. Would the child like what the parent is doing? Would they enjoy it? Spend more time to get to know your child, instead of selfish reasons, try to encourage their child in pursuing their own interests, not the parent's interest.

To maintain a good parent-child relationship, we must have cooperation from both the child and the parent. The parent must be understanding and sensitive towards the child and his/her's feelings. The child must also learn to be independent and speak up when they do not like their parent's plan. The parents must therefore be understanding and do not force the child into doing what they do not enjoy.

Being a parent is not easy, being able to please both the parent and child is very hard. Therefore we must all learn to give and take, let the child enjoy his education and childhood. Seeing the child happy would also make the parent feel accomplished as a successful parent.

How are your parents?




I like how he thinks from the eyes of the parents.How they always want us to do proud Especially in EEH where Emily cared a lot for her son Richard. During the book, her parenting had actually caused her son to commit suicide. . This article was very well written and I enjoyed reading it very much.

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